Hi guys! I am sharing a note I wrote to my son near his first birthday. Having a baby in a global pandemic is no joke, but no matter how you look at it, these babies are a giant silver lining for us all. The hope and joy that new life provides cannot be overlooked. I am so lucky to have this sweet boy in my life, and just wanted to share a little part of my heart with you all.

xx julie renee photo

Dear Lewis, 

To say you were born in a crazy year is quite the understatement. I swear the unofficial motto of 2020 was, “these are unprecedented times.”, which is not super reassuring to hear for a mama about to give birth. 2020 was a bad year for a lot of people, more accurately, most people. Over 300,000 people died in 2020 from Coronavirus. In addition, 2020 saw the highest unemployment history in our country’s history, thousands and thousands of businesses closed down with no hopes of recovery because of the pandemic, and mental health and domestic abuse issues were severe because of the intense social isolation. Aside from the pandemic, 2020 had the most controversial election in recent history, tearing apart friendships, sparking racial hate crimes, and basically just chaos all over the country. Throw in crazy wildfires, “murder hornets” in the PNW, and it’s safe to say 2020 is not a year most people want to remember.

But in 2020, we were given the biggest blessing of our life. You were the hope and joy we needed in these crazy times and I really can’t imagine what our year would have looked like if you weren’t here. 

Your father, normally working 40+ hours a week at the office, got to spend sooo much time with us working from home. He got to see your first roll, first teeth pop through, help with putting you down for naps and changing diapers, and listen to your coos and screams throughout his day (even though sometimes you were a little loud during his meetings!). He got time that most fathers do not, and for that we are all so lucky.

For me, I had purpose and entertainment in a year where I would have likely had neither if you weren’t here. I was working for a commercial real estate team that I had very little interest in, and was just hoping for a move back to PGH to save me from the day-to-day boredom. With you, I found passion and enjoyed every single day at home.  One year in, I am still nursing you four or five times a day. My days revolve around your eating schedule and I am proud and grateful that I could provide for you for this long. I love our stroller walks and watching you explore and figure out new skills.  I love our crawl sessions around the house and walking around to every mirror so you don’t get too fussy at the end of the day. I love that I am here to witness every single milestone. You gave me the greatest year of my life, which is really saying something considering the recap I just gave above. 

We wanted you to be surrounded by family, since it was just the three of us in Utah. With restaurants and museums closed, and mommy + me classes and other activities cancelled, it was just us all of the time. I loved it in the warmer months, when I could spend my days out on walks with you and the dog, or take you for drives in the mountains when you couldn’t sleep. But winter was coming quick, and coronavirus wasn’t going anywhere. We imagined a very isolating winter with little-to-no human interaction, especially since traveling wasn’t recommended. We needed to be around more family, so we changed our plan to move back home to PGH as quickly as we could. 

You have given your grandparents so much joy. Every single day they ask when they can see you. Sometimes it’s a lot for your father and I to handle, but we mainly feel so lucky that you have four grandparents (and one gam gam!!) who adore you so much. They are down on the ground with you, quacking to make you laugh, and enjoying each and every smile. You are going to be spoiled with love, little guy.

Just before your first birthday, your father and I were able to get our first dose of the Covid Vaccine, and we’ll be fully vaccinated just a few weeks from now. Things are looking up and we are hopeful. We cannot wait to socialize and introduce to our friends and extended family in Pittsburgh. I can’t wait to introduce myself to neighbors and find other mama friends to hang out with and bond over our babies. We can’t wait to get back to normal life, but for right now, we are soaking up every single second with you and enjoying the slow days watching you grow. Your first year on earth has certainly been a doozy, but you have been our ray of sunshine through it all.

love you so much my baby boy,

mama